Malec: 04 Dark

Finally, the sun started to set.
Alec, Izzy and Jace were sitting in the library discussing the happenings in the last few weeks including Valentines's return, the state of Clary's mother who seems to be Jace's mother as well and other important topics to which Alec didn't pay any attention. Not at all.
While his siblings had a heated conversation, he was more busy with focusing the clock as if he could force it with his bare will to go faster. Yet, it seemed to Alec that, just to annoy him, the time passed even slower than usual.
But just moments ago, when Jace said something about resemblance or something, Alec realized the golden light outside, flooding over the thousand of books, announcing it was going to be night soon.
"What do you think?" Jace asked but his brother's thoughts were at some other place. The golden sun outside reminded him of some cat eyes, glowing mysteriously, and not, to his very own surprise of the ones of his parabatai.
Alec's eyes widened in realization. This was another proof for the new feeling sprouting in him, similar to what he felt for Jace but at the same time so fundamentally different that it confused Alec to the bones. And deeper.
"Hello, earth to Alec." came Jace's voice, snapping the Shadowhunter back to reality.
"What?" Alec blurted, the most unintelligent sound he might have ever made in his entire life making both of his younger siblings laugh.
"I asked for your opinion and then you looked as surprised as Izzy when her food tastes good." Jace teased, giving Alec a pointed look. They stared each other in the eyes for a few seconds, while Isabelle complained, though, she was completely ignored by the boys. Alec was fascinated by the flawless gold in Jace's eyes, a color that he never saw before and was sure never to see in some other person. But something had changed. Yes, his eyes were beautiful but Alec caught himself thinking it's not the most beautiful color he had ever seen anymore. He had found something even more gorgeous, something he could look at all day without getting bored, something that looked at him with the same curiosity Alec assumed casted his face when staring. Had he?
"Eh..." he still had nothing intelligent to say. "Well..."
Now, Isabelle raised an eyebrow. "Are you alright?" she asked bemused.
Alec took a breath to answer but suddenly hesitated. This is perfect, he thought. While he was staring the clock down earlier, his mind was also racing around the question how to excuse himself and get out of the Institute tonight. He couldn't say he was tired from training, because there was no training today and he had used that excuse three days ago already. Pretending a cold again was no option either for he had used that a whole week and it'd be to obvious saying that again. Additionally, he hadn't sneezed all day. Though, right now, to Jace and Izzy he seemed to be tired or confused or weirded out. Maybe even all three of it. So it wouldn't be too odd to go to bed early. As soon as it was completely dark outside he could eat something and go to bed. Nothing unusual.
"Well, I, eh, actually feel a bit . . . dizzy, you know?" he lied and could see in his siblings expressions, both narrowing his eyes at him, that he didn't sound very convincing "It's just not my day," he lamely finished. Lying was nothing he was used to nor good at. And it felt wrong doing it for selfish reasons. Wait, was it selfish not to hurt is family? Would it be even hurtful what he's doing? Jace does it all the time, doesn't he?
"I see." his sister suddenly said "you should go to bed early." There was something in her voice that made Alec feel uncomfortable. Somehow caught.
"Whatever you two are talking about," Jace said standing up from the brown armchair "I'm off." he turned on his heels and headed to the huge wooden door.
"Where're you going?" Alec wanted to know.
"Some secret place where everyone worships the awesome me." he answered and left the room, leaving Alec puzzled and Izzy annoyed behind. Then, she just shrugged, rolled her eyes and put her attention back to her brother.
"So, you're seeing Magnus tonight, huh?" she purred with a wink, her lips forming a mischievous smirk.
Alec stared at her in shock, his face flushing. Avoiding her eyes, he looked out of the window where the sun kissed the skyscrapers goodnight, making room for the moon and stars, and most importantly, for darkness.
"Yeah," he admitted murmuring.
"Maybe we should practice lying." she proposed.
"What?" Alec turned his head to give his sister an incredulous glance. As if one could simply practice that.
"You need to work at your excuses, Alec. You couldn't be more obvious." Alec's face turned redder, his features tensing. Could he possibly feel more uncomfortable? Getting tips for secretly dating from his sister?
"Or even better." she insisted "Tell him."
"Oh, no!" Alec exclaimed, standing up from his place "You know I can't."
Rolling her smoky eyes again, she stood up, too, and put her arms akimbo. "Of course you can, Alec. He'll understand."
"I gotta go, now," this was definitely no topic he wanted to talk about. It had been hard enough for him to tell his sister in the first place so he didn't need any advice from her. He knew what to do. Or so, he thought.
"That won't work forever."
"This conversation is over." without turning around he left the room, hearing Isabelle sigh. Purposely loud, he assumed.
There was no way telling his family, particularly Jace. He knew his family, and he knew they wouldn't approve when Alec suddenly came home holding hands with a glittering, crazy warlock and telling them "Hey, you know Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, right? Yeah, I'm seeing him for a while now. You see, I'm gay. That's all."
Weakly, Alec laughed lightly at the thought. That would never happen. Never.
He arrived at his room. As soon as he closed the door behind him and switched the light on (a good sign, that meant it was getting darker outside) he stripped down his clothes and went into his bathroom. Before seeing Magnus, he wanted to shower because he had said he liked the smell of his fresh washed hair. Sandalwood. Again, Alec was surprised by his own thoughts. He wanted Magnus to like him. A lot.
Hot water was running down his body and Alec let his shoulders relax. Relaxing was something he couldn't allow himself too often, as a Shadowhunter one always needed to be careful and pay attention to everything. And then there was his own personal activity for a while. Now, Alec had to be careful what to say and pay attention to every strange sound he heard when sneaking out of the Institute, too. He mustn't be caught. It be the worst case he could imagine.
However, as soon as the doors close behind him in Magnus's Brooklyn loft, everything seemed to be so much easier. There is Magnus who welcomes Alec with a warm hug and Alec can melt into the strong arms holding him, feeling accepted for who he is. Having met Magnus was the best thing that happened to Alec for a long time. Really.

Clean and smelling like sandalwood, Alec dressed himself in a dark jeans and a black sweater, a small whole at the right sleeve. The sun had vanished completely, a crescent moon replacing it. Shades of clouds were painted over the night sky.
It was finally dark outside.
A smile found its way on Alec's lips, pleasant anticipation tickling down his spine. He couldn't wait anymore, he wanted to be out of this building as fast as possible and meet with Magnus. Alec took his stele and marked himself with a Glamour Rune, making him invisible for mundanes. Inspite of the dark hiding him, he felt much more comfortable when ordinary people won't be able to see him. The less people able to recognize him, the better.
Carefully, he opened the door and stepped into the long corridor, lightened by witchlight. On his way to the stairs (the elevator makes too much noise for sneaking out) he looked into every open room he came by. In one sat Isabelle, doing something Alec couldn't see, and when she realized he was looking worriedly at her, she just winked at him and formed the word "Go" silently with her lips, encouraging him. Alec understood. If someone would ask, she would give him an alibi. So he didn't need to have supper and walk into his parants trying to lie again. As Izzy had observed earlier, he was a terrible lier and he definitely didn't want to arouse any more suspicion. If his parents would ask where he is, Isabelle would handle this for him. Smiling softly at her as a thanks, he headed outside in the darkness. At last.

The subway was surprisingly full, rattling it's way through the stations, people leaving or getting on the train. Alec had a place near the door, looking over the head of an old man reading a thick novel out of the window, staring at the rushing black. He knew the way by heart, knew at which station he had to change trains, knew his way to Magnus's flat in Brooklyn. Now, he was sitting in the last train and had just send a text to the warlock that he was on his way.
"Can't wait, sugarcube " was the flirty response that made Alec flush.
Not used to such endearings, he shifted uncomfortably on his seat sliding his phone shut and pocketing it back in his jeans, glad that no one could see him. Since their first date Magnus had started calling him cute names to which Alec never knew how to respond. The first time he just stared at the warlock in disbelief and protested against the name -honey- his face blushing a deep red while Magnus had begun to laugh and kissed him on the forehead in a way that said "You need to get used to it."
The Shadowhunter sometimes didn't know how to feel or act around Magnus. On the one hand he absolutely didn't like to be called "darling", "sweetheart", "cupcake" or similar things, on the other hand felt it somehow nice to be so endeared. It made him feel liked and Alec wanted this. He wanted Magnus to like him just like he liked Magnus. And that was a huge lot.
If he just not had to wait for the dark. Always the dark had to protect, to cover him when he wanted to be with the person he liked. Wait, he liked Jace, too, and he could see him whenever he wanted. He just spend almost the whole day with him which was great. Yet, when he thought about it, he didn't actually cared about what Jace had to say. Moreover, he hadn't even stared at Jace, as usual. And not just today, since the incident with Abbadon where Magnus had to save his life, Alec started thinking more about the warlock instead of his parabatai.
What was going on with him?
Nothing was ever so complicated before. He had a plan. The plan to go on living, being Jace's parabatai and keep his crush on him but because it's forbidden to be in love with his parabatai it was safe because it was against the law to admit it and therefore, no one would ever find out he was gay. However, his plan was crumbling, falling apart into little pieces. His safe plan.
The train stopped. Alec woke up out of his reverie and realized he had to leave here. After jumping out of the train, he hastily headed to the exit, cold air hitting him nicely.
Telling himself he shouldn't think so much, he put his hands in his jeans pockets and walked down the street. He had always been one of the worried sort, always thinking everything through and stay distant when a situation seemed to become unsafe. And this might be the most unsafe situation he had ever found himself in. How could the most unsafe situation only feel so great?
Solemnly, he inhaled the cold air to cool his mind. There was one thing that made him feel safe.
The dark.
It surrounded him, covering him, helping him do what made him happy. Visiting Magnus.
When it was light outside, when the sun brightened the earth it would be impossible for Alec to just  walk around and do want he wanted. When it was dark, no one would see, would care who he was or where he was going.
But to be honest, to be really honest, Alec thought it sucked to always wait for the sun to go down and leave him alone. Usually, he needed to hunt in the darkness, needed to protect his siblings. His time was limited but the time spent with Magnus was so extraordinarily enjoyable that he could stay at his place all day long, he actually could just look at him all day without getting bored. If his time only wasn't so short. If he could just expand his time to meet Magnus whenever he want, whether the sun was shining or the moon was. He wanted everyone to know and at the same time nothing needed to be kept more safe than this. Nothing.
The darkness was his best friend and worst enemy. Keeping him safe but limiting his time. Making him free and imprisoned.
Thoughtfully, he looked up into the night sky. In a city like New York, not a lot of stars visible and the Moon hid behind clouds.
For now, Alec just thanked the dark that it was there for him, supporting him. One day, he'd be able to come without its company and be with Magnus whenever and wherever he wants while everyone knows. Please.
Alec arrived in front of Magnus's flat. A smile sneaked on his face. This is where he wanted to be.
He could just be happy and enjoy the night and he trusted the odds that he won't have to hunt.
Hopefully, the sun would not rise soon.